Rituals have an uncanny power to unite and to touch pain. In addition, an understanding of the meaning behind rituals can enhance our experience of them.
The purpose of the balloon release (with each person’s name written on a balloon) is to signify the rising spirits of those who have gone before us. The release invites us to let go of our earthly connection and to place the loved one somewhere in our consciousness, a necessary bereavement task.
The ringing of bells traditionally expressed joy or sorrow. There is a prescribed pattern for both. The "sorrowful" ring pattern features the bells being rung slowly and in the opposite order, that is, one stroke of each bell from the smallest to the largest. This reversal poignantly symbolizes the various stages of a person’s life on earth, from infancy through youth, maturity, and adulthood. Then the bell is struck once signifying the severing of this mortal life by death. As the sound fades away, each is reminded of human mortality and that life here on earth is fleeting. Hence, at the Virginia convocation, the bell was rung once for each life lost.
The candlelight ritual is probably the most universally understood. The one symbol all religions find acceptable is that of light! Light represents hope, understanding, and goodness. When we light a candle we are pushing back the darkness and sorrow that grief brings. We are signifying our willingness to transition to a place of renewal and new growth. It is as if our hearts are crying out that we will not be defeated by the darkness.
When people have experienced a deep grief, they usually turn to rituals and belief systems to find meaning, hope, and strength. The four religious leaders who spoke—Muslim, Buddhist, Jewish and Christian—obviously understood this. Those critical of their performance may have an unreal expectation that words alone can produce healing or diminish deep sorrow.
The Muslim community should be proud of Dr. Sedki Riad, the school’s professor of electrical and computer engineering. As the director of international programs in the College of Engineering, he was an excellent choice for a speaker. Dr. Riad voiced his belief that "life on this earth is only a transition period that precedes the later life. Winning the later life is the goal of every Muslim." He added, "Work for this life as if we are living forever, and work for the later life as if we are dying tomorrow." All of this is consistent with the Christian doctrine where we are urged to live as if this world is not our home, and as if the ‘Master of the house’ may return at any time. May we all continue the dialogue that Dr. Riad began. And that’s where I find that the cross meets the crescent.
Rev. Connie Regener, a graduate of Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, is a religious commentator in the Southland.
