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Parenting never ceases to amaze |
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By Laura El Alam, IFN Columnist
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Tuesday, 12 January 2010 |
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Page 2 of 2
One of my first parenting lessons came a few days after our first child was born. During my pregnancy, my husband and I had filled our home with all kinds of gadgets and equipment designed to care for infants.
We quickly realized, however, that almost everything a newborn really needs is not found in stores: loving arms to hold and rock him, mother’s milk to feed him, voices to soothe him, and endless patience and prayer.
My own on-the-job experience made me wonder what valuable lessons other local Muslim moms and dads have learned over the years.
“I used to think that children were like dough; you could form the way you wanted. Now I know they’re born with their own personalities,” says Mayada Shmara, a mother of two in Orange.
Riaz Surti, a father of two in Cerritos, says, “I’ve learned that when your children are young, they want your time and not your money, and when they get older, they want your money and not your time.”
“It’s impossible to give all your children equal time,” says Leila El Baba, a mother of two in Brea. “At different ages and stages, one child will need more attention than another.”
“The thing I realize now that I didn't before is the attachment between you and your kid,” says Mohammed Bentadghout, a father of one in Irvine. “This bonding lets you change a lot of daily habits and makes you think twice before you proceed in any activity.”
Maria Ali, a mother of three in Irvine, says, “What I know now is the real value of the expression, ‘Don't sweat the small stuff.’ Twenty years on, it's not going to matter if the toys were picked up, the veggies always eaten and the socks matching. What will matter is your kids knowing that you love them, unconditionally, always and forever.”
Hassan Khatib, a father of eight and grandfather of 12 in Huntington Beach, says he looks back on the years with a great deal of insight and wisdom. He says, “If I could go back in time, I would have been gentler with my children and I would have played with them more. Daily involvement with children is important for fathers as well as mothers.” He adds, “And I wouldn’t have traveled as much for work.”
The old African proverb claims that “It takes a village to raise a child.” Perhaps if seasoned parents shared their wisdom and experience with each other more often, our children – and the world - would reap the benefits.
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Last Updated ( Thursday, 29 April 2010 )
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